For the past week I have been feeling pretty good. It’s almost as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Wanna know why?! Of course you do!! It’s because God is an awesome God. Can I get an amen!?!
Last week, after I wrote my post, a few things happen. It got worst before it got better. Before, you roll your eyes, and think here we go again, let me explain.
(Insert dreamy music like they do on TV) I finished writing my post and within a few minutes I receive a text message. It was pretty bland, so I responded and kept it moving.
The next day, I get another text from another person. That person was blowing up at me about a situation that had nothing to do with me. I shared that text message with someone else and it caused them to also get upset with me about what was said in the text messages that I shared with them.
Mind you, all 3 of those text messages came days apart. Because the last person that got mad at me over the text that was shared, I had had it! I felt like that was more than I could take.
I cried so hard that night. I prayed to God a prayer that was almost contradicting itself but I was able to get some things off my chest.
I told the Lord that I couldn’t take it anymore, that this was too much. Quickly, after I said those words, I knew I couldn’t pray this away. I needed to deal with it because this was something I didn’t want to have to go through again.
As I’m praying for the people who texted me, I also told the Lord I knew the reason this was happening. I know the Lord doesn’t put more on us without a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13), so I knew I was strong enough to deal with it. It caused me to realize that I HAD to go through this.
Once I was done with my meltdown, I asked the Lord how He wanted me to handle it. The response was, with love, but stand up for yourself.
You see I’m one to avoid conflict if I can, most of the time “avoiding” means, I’ll let that slide, but I’m gonna remember you said that and hang it in the closet or sweep it under the rug.
Because that happened so often, the littlest things set me off. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was wrong with me until I wrote my last post.
God allowed me to go through this. He wanted me to trust Him more than I wanted to know what was going on with me. I couldn’t pinpoint one thing that was bothering me because it was so much over the years that I brushed under the rug that it wasn’t just one thing. It was multiple.
Once I realized that all that whatb I was going through was a distraction, I came to my senses. It was then, and only then that God addressed the issues of my heart.
He told me:
I am always here
Even in the difficult times
Especially in the difficult times
No matter what you’re going through I am always with you
You may feel as if I’ve left, but that’s far from the truth
I know what you’re going through
I see what you’re going through
And I feel what you’re going through
It’s all a part of my plan for your life
As you trust Me, the plan unfolds, not before
You are on the verge of walking into what I have for you
Don’t get distracted
You’re too close to get off track
Keep your eyes on Me and only Me and I will lead you into your promise
I love you D’ondra
I will never leave you nor will I let you down
Ever since all that mess happened, I feel like I’m free. Like, things are different. I can tell He’s molding and shaping me and putting me in the fire so that everything that shouldn’t be there, isn’t.
I know I’m not the only one going through. The good thing though, is that we’re going through!!