You ever feel as if what you’re going through cant be put into words, that your mind can’t grasp what is going on, but it’s bigger than you?!
Does that make sense?! Probably not, because I’m having a hard time trying to word it myself.
Let me try again. I feel like there is something brewing in me that I can’t explain. That whatever I am going through, once I get through it, it’ll be like a weight lifting off my shoulders.
It’s as if there is this baby growing inside me (no I’m not pregnant). Each week it gets bigger, more uncomfortable, and more exhausting. As it grows, my body is adjusting, trying to deal with all the changes.
The more I fight it, the more it consumes me, but as I get to understand the changes, it gets easier to deal with.
As long as I dwell on the bad, the bitterness, the depression, the sadness stays, but the more I tell myself I trust God to do what He needs to do in me, it gets easier to let the change happen. Not my will be done, thy will be done.
You see what I am dealing with is causing me to press into the Lord more. I know I won’t get through this without Him. The things I used to do won’t suffice anymore. I have to go deeper. I have to not just say things that sound good, but actually be a doer of the word.
God is requiring more of me. There is no bare minimum. Whatever He’s got going on inside of me is something that the devil knows once I get passed it, he’s in trouble. I know this because of what I feel.
I’ve had visions and dreams of me fighting. Not anything that I can see or even explain, but I wake up and know I was just in a battle and something lost because I’m still standing and I have the victory.
This spiritual warfare that I’ve been going through isn’t going to get the best of me, but it will get what’s coming to it. God knows what I am capable of, and so does the devil, that’s why he’s fighting me so hard.
Too many people depend on me to get what God needs me to get. I won’t be disappointing the body of Christ.
God told me the other day:
Take the limits off Me
You have to trust Me D’ondra
I am not a man that I should lie to you
Is there anything too hard for me?
Just because you don’t see a way doesn’t mean I don’t have a way
You have to learn to trust me in every situation, not just some
You see, I know God as a provider, a comforter, a way maker. He’s wanting me to get to know Him in more ways than I’ve experienced thus far, like a healer, a deliverer, and a God who is more than enough.
My family is in the transition stage, big things are about to happen. I can feel it. God is about to do some amazing things and I’m excited about it. I trust that from here on out, I will no longer let my thoughts control my emotions. If it’s not from the Lord, you gotta go!!